Dear Love, a love letter to myself
Updated: May 19, 2020
I have been through so many phases with you. From Lust, to first boyfriend, to heartbreak , to deep in love , to clingy love, to etc etc etc. My phases of love have changed since i started having crushes.I remember my first boy crush and like damn i crushed on him hard. He lived around the corner across the street from me. He was about three years older than me, I was 14 at that time and it was like I spotted my prince charming with a hood swag. All the love encounters I have gone through have set me up for where I am right now. Love week is here and is like what is love? I do believe in love, self love is the best love and the relationship I have with myself is the most flourished. But I still have more love to conquer like mother love, husband love, etc.
Love looks differently on everyone.To describe love in today's world I don't know where to begin. It has been glorified and capitalist as if you are only worthy of love if you are in a relationship. But really love is hard and beautiful and as I have gotten older my definition of love has evolved. I believe in multiple soulmates and my 1st came, was beautiful, hurtful, happy , joy , sad and left. He is my forever love and sometimes his image comes to mind and I bless him.
I am happy that person came into my life and made me uncomfortable to the point of disrespecting myself to get back to myself. The truth is that I had to go through a few heartbreaks to figure out what love is, I know what is not basically what I do not like and then leads me to what I do like. Maya Angelou says “Love liberates” she was describing the love her mother taught her.
I was born with Love inside of me yet I did not know it because I was taught I was not lovable. Unlearning to learn took some years into my 30s . I would attract men that were not good for me and in their defense they did not know better because they were hurting as well. When you hurt , you’ll break everything that comes your way. I was also hurt and finding comfort in the wrong places . I also burned some bridges with people that could have helped me in my growth because I was hurt. But wait let me make things clear this is a letter to love , well really to myself but to love.
Love comes in different forms is just not romantic love. There is friends love , family love , love for life ,etc. The love of my mother. My mother is the kindest and lovable person I know, she gives her love away freely and with nothing in return. She is a true Scorpio ♏️ Once you do her dirty , she wants nothing to do with you. But my mother is a giver and through seeing how she gives love has taught me about love. My mother has taught me that love yourself first and she developed that mindset after she retired.
I love love like love is all around me. I show myself love in every way I can and I do by making myself happy first before anyone. Still describing love in your 30s. I learn more about love through heartbreaks and through some of the men in my Family and street dudes. Always the rough love is the one that teaches you the most about love. having a lack of father and daughter love led me to people that had the wrong intentions. I was like damn I played myself a few times and they were not mistakes . Every person that has come into my life has come in to teach me something about myself. I am just glad that I am loved and I love me and thank everyone that came , are here and those that left for sharing their love and I share mine with them . Just know you are loved, you are worthy of love . If you already just share it .