Updated: May 19, 2020
I have been open about going to therapy. I don’t need to hide it because maybe it can help someone else debating if he/she needs to go. A therapy topic today was imposter syndrome. I’ve been dealing with imposter syndrome all year. I have never dealt with imposter syndrome in the food world. When I first started out, I barely had anyone to guide me with the exception of one person. Mostly I figured it out and learned my way through it.
I’ve been reading my journals since my teen to see what areas I need to work on and what areas I’ve improved. I’ve been journaling since my teens and was part of a creative writing program in high school . I skipped because life and you know . Then kept on journaling and then I started a blog detailing my personal journey. This year I took writing more seriously and have invested more in it. However I feel I don’t have the skills and worth to be at the table with everyone else that has study the craft for years.The literacy world Im still fairly new to it so as I’m progressing and find myself in rooms that I’m being paid for writing , I questioned myself if I deserve it and I step back. My therapist responds by having to learn , be a mentor but having to just do it and figure it out.
I see imposter syndrome happened with a lot of people of color and why is that ? This is the question I asked myself and can be open to discussion because part of learning is talking without bullying.
The observation theory I have come up with is : we are unlearning things we have been trained to believe about ourselves. People of color we have been told by non people of color and people of color as well that reaching for new heights is “impossible” and staying where we are comfortable is where we suppose to be so we are unlearning that but as we reach the top we are having these feelings. This can be a topic of conversation we can begin to have honestly.