Letter to 33
Letter to 33
I will be 33 soon, Jesus Age.
Every year I anticipate a swing of emotions. This year leading up to my birthday is a little different, I will say an emotional roller coaster. They say be happy for getting older, be happy for life, others did not make it to your age. Now I am not denying my gratitude for life . I am surrendering to my emotions.
The last 3 months “33” has been appearing in front of me. As if Signs the universe is sending me. 3 in angel number represents Guidance from the universe and they are always with me . Since October 2019, I have been working hard to manifest ideas. I have been emotional along the way with a few crying spells .
“333” appears on the bus stop
3:33 appears in my phone
My mom played 3 and she won .
That number reassured me that everything will be okay. I am blessed and highly favored.
Still I’m a few days away of what should be a spiritual year they I’m going through another spiritual breakthrough. Desiring holding a child in my womb and moving my whole family into a house and out of post avenue still hasn’t been manifested. The believers will say “God's timing “ but you desire and desire and when is God's timing coming. 33 is a big year, more than 30. 33 is two years away from 35 , 7 years away from 40 it makes you think will I receive what I always desired.
Every year my birthday approaches and I try to avoid it . Birthdays have never been fun in the sun for me. As much as I like to feel good about my birthday , I feel sad and I try to change that narrative. Developing an authentic relationship with the 1/30 date sets is my intention in 2020. On my 17 birthday I was sleeping all day and had major depression . On my 19th birthday I was in school like any other day and had a crying day in the bathroom of Lehman college . On my 22nd birthday I did a small get together and no one showed up . On my 23rd birthday I had my first anxiety attack .? From 24 to 26 I went to a ski resort to avoid the happy birthday or no happy birthday from others, mostly no happy birthday . At 27 I went out to dinner with O workers . 28 I can't remember . 29 I was in suicidal depression and working and on my 30th birthday I took my first solo trip . Birthdays represent sadness and negativity and are stuck in the past . The past of not having birthdays like everyone else with friends and family. Birthdays are tight down to my mental health . Year 32 I was able to enjoy it and embrace the wishes . Year 33 Is an anxious anticipation and that too acknowledging
I avoid my birthday because of the pain that has brought me. My birthday reminds me of a sad situation I was brought in and even sadder I am forcing myself out. How do u change the narrative of your birthday when you’ve been conditioned that when the date approaches is a negative one